Look at Me! But Not Like That

Written for and performed at Utter! Sexuality in May 2010, this one started off the set in an anthemic manner before sliding down the thematic register.

LOOK AT ME! BUT NOT LIKE THAT
They’re an arguing couple, like Nature and Nurture,
A twisted pair on the floor, dancing double-helically,
Identity and Sexuality, bound inextricably.
But the feelings ain’t so rosy where those knots
Are tied by agendas backed with mandate or creed
In media resolute on showcasing points like houses
Which are surprisingly spacious despite the narrow views;
Which may purvey an illiberal expanse;
Which may give room to breathe and roam
Across valleys of opinion and coloured vistas
Brandishing the moral spirit level that has been
Calibrated heteronormatively.
And adjusting the slide rule of PC-ness
Somewhere between euphemism and offence.
For I might be gay one day and queer the next,
Bent, doubled, for the two after that;
Out on a bender on the fifth.

If I don’t obsess on it, why should they?
My XY likes his XY, so why oh why
Can you not square this like I?
Her double X likes that double X
And they’re getting merry on that brew.
It’s no more different and no more complex
Than the algebra of the everyday.

So I don’t and shouldn’t have to
Stride down the street with a flag,
To know who I am or who I like or where I fit.
Or how I fit or even who I fit.
It does not define me; it does not rule me.
It is a facet of my gemstone, nuance of a whole;
A flavour to be enjoyed in the melange of me.
Not politicised or militarised,
But also not marginalised or ignored
Blended so it’s there/not there;
An optical allusion in identity.

Others will have shouted it better
But I find my simplicity couched in technicality.
He’s a gynophile and so is she;
She’s an androphile and so am I.